Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay

Apr 04, 2023

Photo: Flickr RF

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

Monday once again but it's also June which means the year is half over. Both of those things, when considered, are incredibly sad so we need a little something uplifting today. Lucky for you (and me who gets to write hilarious things about Angi & Abe,) Angi had a very interesting afternoon yesterday. As you should know and hopefully attended, we held a Dino Derby at Hawthorne yesterday. Apparently, watching inflatable dinosaurs running down a race track was apparently hilarious (I was too busy attending to a surprise Chicago visit from my brother to be there unfortunately.) Anyway, that is all fun and interesting but let's get to the real meat of the point here which is what happened after the race. While the horses were going back to the stable, it seemed that one had really taken a liking to Angi. Angi, being an animal lover, went over to pet the horse and it responded by molesting her. This stud went down her shirt, licked her stomach and just basically gave her more attention than Jay the Straight has all month (it's only the start of it though and he's been busy golfing.) She was kind of enjoying letting the horse do its thing and apparently, it figured that she was hiding salt under her shirt. It would explain why it pretty much soaked her and then tried to take her shirt off. Personally, I think he wanted to see those frankentits but then again, who doesn't? This hilarious (see traumatic) incident gave us the first of two call in discussions this morning (the other being our daily discussion.) Angi wanted to know if any of the roadies had also been assaulted by an animal or were ever attacked by one (we're equal opportunists on this show!) For example, Abe's brother Sam had a dog named Trent (RIP Trent) who loved to hump ... men. If you were a dude, you were going to get ridden at all times. Before relaying a tale about how she was also attacked by animals as well, Angi elaborated that she totally did not have salt on her chest to provoke the horse to assault her. Obviously, all the tequila shots she was doing prior to the Dino Derby did not allow salt to fall all over her chest, totally didn't happen. As for the attack story, Angi was running along Lake Shore Drive (we won't rename it to some nonsense on this show) and was attacked by the Lake Shore Drive geese. The idea of being attacked by birds scares the hell out of Abe and so that's another reason why he doesn't go near the lake or run or go anywhere besides the casino. Angi continued on about her horse nonsense but we had to get to the Request Line to hear if the roadies had any stories to add. Bruce was a fast runner and while once in Oak Forest, a dog came up behind him and was barking. It was a boxer and since he had slowed down, the dog proceeded to sniff him and picked up something he liked because he proceeded to lick him like the horse did Angi. Christina's best friend had a dog that always sniffs crotches which became problematic when she was on her period. The dog sniffed and apparently that was enough for attack mode as it bit her. Luckily it didn't break the skin as she was wearing jeans but it did leave a bruise. Dan's cousin was sprayed with deer pheromones and that caused a dotson and german shepard to double team him. As for myself, I was bitten by a friend's dog once while playing around with her (broken skin, etc) and once attacked by another friend's old angry cat that jumped on my back and clawed me. Thankfully, for the most part though, animals tend to love me.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Right then, as I said we had two discussions today but this lead in is our daily discussion topic, the time where we actively seek the roadie input on whatever nonsense Angi has dug up for the day. If you paid attention, you would see the foreshadowing I buried in that opening because we took a look at being buried today. Actually, it was more items that were getting buried with you when you finally succumbed to too much rock (music, not crack obviously.) Angi saw an article recently that discussed weird things that celebrities are buried with. For example, Milton Berle had three cigars tossed in the coffin with him when they finally put him down. Frank Sinatra was buried with Jack Daniels (cue to Angi looking for the directions to his grave site.) JFK was not buried with condoms as Abe assumed but a whale tooth that was engraved. Bob Marley was buried with weed and a soccer ball. Dimebag Darrell had Eddie Van Halen's guitar lovingly shoved in the coffin with him (and honestly, that's a real score if you're actually looking to dig up a stiff.) Now, as you should know (I expect anyone who goes out of their way to read this nonsense is a true listener of the show,) Angi wants to be cremated when she dies. Seeing as this completely offsets what we're attempting to achieve with this topic, Abe asked what he should do with Angi's ashes. She would like them to be scattered, preferably on a casino floor which I'm sure the owners would be thrilled about. Perhaps he could bring her in a salt jar and sprinkle them around from time to time to let it really get spread properly. As I said though, we want to stay on topic so if she was actually going to end up in a box, she would want a bottle of wine and Jay the Straight buried with her. He too wants to be cremated so either she's getting his ashes or if she goes first, she wants him buried alive with her. Though he dreams of running off with a big titted blonde 24 year old when she eats dirt, Angi clearly has other plans for him. There's a backup plan already in place in case he won't go into the coffin quietly, which is for Abe to murder him. Speaking of Abe, he wants to be buried with his Jim McMahon Starting Lineup "figure" that he's had in his car for 20 years. This is a "figure" mind you and not a doll because it's harder plastic than a doll has. Also, throw in a White Sox hat with him as well. As for me, I have a sentimental item or two that I shared with my now deceased best friend that I would want in the box with me along with a picture of him as he was my entire world and I spend every day sort of wandering around aimlessly now because the world feels empty without him. Enough of my sappy mess (and the Angi & Abe nonsense,) let's go to the Request Line once more for the roadies responses. Ryan has a first edition Charizard Pokemon card and it's probably worth like $10,000 (it's a 5 on the scale of 10 when graded he assumes.) Abe, of course, will be digging this up when he gets the chance. Jody has a picture of the cast of Saved by the Bell that is autographed by all of them outside of dead Dustin Diamond because he's a loser (plus dead.) Joe wants his autographed Brian Scalabrine jersey tossed in the box with him. Justin took a simple approach and said no coffin and no clothes either. Toss his naked body in a black trash bag and call it a day. Sam has zebra print Zubaz that he loves and a home run ball from Sammy Sosa that his first grade teacher gave him that is going under with him. Head Roadie Bob wants his Mustang buried with him (that's a lot of real estate being wasted imo.) Russ wants seeds, bulbs and Irises from his grandpa's farm in his biodegradable coffin to create a nice little flower bed where he'll be dead. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (The Angi Taylor Show) and read up or drop us a comment.

Move over rock, take a seat pop, forget you heavy metal and don't even think about it rap, it seems that a new music genre is here to steal the ears of a certain age crowd. Mid 90's rock is having its time in the sun and all those great bands and plenty of one hit wonders are the flock to bands for the middle aged music fans. Dubbed IPA-core, this is the hot new music category next to my personal favorite Midwest emo and finally releasing us from the grips of things like Nu metal. If you wonder what it means to be IPA-core, these are bands from the 90's that you sit and enjoy while drinking an IPA at the bar. Like Counting Crows, Collective Soul, Soul Asylum, The Lemonheads, Gin Blossoms and Oasis. Abe even showcased that maybe this is for him as he wouldn't go as far as to admit to liking Counting Crows but would cop to being able to sit at a bar, have an IPA and enjoy hearing "Mr. Jones." He sounds like he should be listening to another station in Chicago which I would dub the IPA-core station but his love lives in pure rock and you can only get that on Rock 95.5! (You're welcome Chicago!)

Finally, have you ever heard the term "gooch grease?" If you haven't, you're in luck because a news station in Houston did a seven minute segment on it recently and helped explain what it is and what men are doing to combat it. Now, the gooch is the spot between your balls and your butthole that can collect things like sweat, lint and other undesirable things that can gather down in that hellhole. Angi took issue with this and complained that if you can't keep it dry down there, you're suffering from a hygiene issue but luckily, the news report showcased a way to combat any lingering issues down below. It seems men who are hell bent on not ruining their underwear have taken to wearing maxi pads in the area to catch all the lingering grease. When asked if Abe would go that far, he doesn't need to but he doesn't hate the idea. He would be more inclined to wear it by his ass though but then you start getting into diaper territory with that kind of talk. We ended up closing this by basically saying to shove maxi pads anywhere where anything undesirable can happen.

Request Wars 2.0

Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)

Angi's (repping Sal) Song Choice: "Would" by Alice in Chains

Abe's (repping Bill) Song Choice: "Falling to Piece" by Faith No More

Winner: Angi

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: The attendees of the Dino Derby

From our overall dino winner Kent (w/ his green shoes) to the last place dino Mush and all the other roadies and dinos, we salute you this morning. Also shout out the horse that molested Angi and to the other horse Devil, who did not molest Angi.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"I wanna eat the whole burger and then a second one." - Abe

"I'm wondering, have you ever been molested by an animal because I was molested by a horse yesterday." - Angi